If you had been an orchardista, we'd have been deprived of your gleaming repartee with us. What sort of orchard would you have been in- nut trees seem likely

Nuts. 

Where I grew up was English Walnut and Cherry orchards. All gone now replaced with track homes. I could tell you some stories about stealing Bing cherries. My bike had saddle bags hanging from the rack. 

If I can't pick cans of Swiss BP off a tree I'm not interested.

what sort of lube/fertilizer do you think will work if I wanted to raise some 4759? Not wasting any time on black powder, not that using up the SPG would be a bad thing. 
Another component using plant-based product is good ol' smokeless. They utilize wood alcohol to dry it after being wet with water. That's what we smell when we open a can. Probably some stuff in primers too, but I'm not really aware what it may be. We are being ecological by shooting a lot of this stuff up. It's renewable energy