Whilst my brethren partake of Christmas cheer, typically known as eggnog, let us not forget the sacrifice of a small woodland creature, possibly extinct, known as the nauga. (Obviously plagiarized, I'm not that witty.) A Short history of Naugahyde, Eggnog, and the elusive creature known as the Nauga. Eggnog: Eggnog is the milk of the female Nagua, (maybe the males, or both, I dunno) A Nauga is a small-ish animal native to the north-eastern corner of the southern part of the Western United States. Naugas are very shy creatures and hide at the very hint that there might be a camera around. No known photos exist. Naugas eat a mixture of Malted Barley, Malted Wheat, rice syrup solids, Sugar, Hops and yeast. (a pinch of salt and a slice of lime are added for the Mexican sub species of the Nauga) This diet produces a white-ish frothy and mildly alcoholic beverage called eggnog. (It also produces a toxic greenhouse gas which has recently found use in the military and pest extermination industry, but that's another story.) Naugahyde; During WWII, with a shortage of leather for the war effort, a way was finally discovered to cure the hide of the Nauga. Dr Seymour Butts, a Proctologist working on the Manhattan Project discovered the process, the details of which are still a closely guarded secret. The only details that are known is that the process involves Midgets, hot candle wax, chilled custard with fish sticks, and a ball gag. The first uses of Naugahyde were: Aircraft Seats, non weight bearing equipment straps, and First Lady Eleanor Roosevelts' Bustiere. The use of Naugahyde peeked in the 70s, and has since fallen out of favor due to the "Free Range Nauga" and "PETN" (People for the Ethical Treatment of Naugas) and "RUB" movements. Eggnog.. My wife loves eggnog, but I never cared to much for it. I used to have a Naugahyde jacket, but every time I wore it I wondered how many little Noggas gave up their skins to make it. I guess there's little Nauga Farms around where they milk them for eggnog till their big enough to "harvest", then; "sorry little guy, time to become a jacket or maybe a sofa.." I'm sure PETA will be all over this soon.. ~~Otis
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